I spend £12 a week on magazines. Quite shocking really, but its always been a joy of mine. But reading the book has made me question why. Why do I take pleasure in the fractured lives of celebrities, or non celebrities as is becoming more common since the explosion of TOWIE and Made In Chelsea, both shows I have no interest in. Why do I read about celebs gaining and losing weight, when I for one know the misery? How would I feel if my fluctuating weight was printed in the press for all to see, circled in red as if it is a crime against humanity?
The constant criticism of what people wear, something I took pleasure in looking at and guffawing, now makes me feel rather uncomfortable. Who am I to judge? I do not walk out of the house looking like I have stepped off a catwalk, hell, I have one pair of trousers just for leaving the house in as I know they fit nice! I have an ever rotating pile of tops I wear as they are unassuming and blend me into the background. Yet I feel I am qualified to laugh at others, splashed across magazines while people comment with an air of derision.
These magazines have lost their sparkle to me, I don't have the same pleasure reading them as I once did. Maybe now I can work on reading my massive book collection that has been left languishing!
Yes, I maintain an interest in fashion, but for the work, the art and flamboyance. But no longer am I going to buy the magazines (except Grazia!) instead the money shall go to a new me.......
I want to change my 'style' for I currently have none! My £12 a week is going to go into me, I am going to save it (well buy vouchers as I am crap at saving!) I want to change how I look, I want to look like a 31 year old. Not the non-entity that I feel I am at the moment.
So my first purchase will hopefully be a kimono jacket, I have a hankering. Plus I can still wear it with my trousers and tops whilst I make my transition!
After that I want to scour the shops for some dresses, WITH SLEEVES! Which are quite hard to get, teamed with opaques and the boots I adore (Thanks hubby!) I need to look after me. I hardly wear make-up, never wear my hair down and always look the same.
This is my pledge, to myself. Look after yourself, care about yourself and love yourself. I deserve it!